Through the windowpane she sees
Nothing but a foggy mist
Like the tomcat huddling near the gate
Watching the clock she slowly waits
An errant breeze
Shook the tiny leaves
Revealing a playful shadow
Amidst the sparkling dew
Puffy clouds wondering by
Cool winds rustling with a sigh
A piercing birdsong fills the air
A simple harmony sung without a care
Its now ten past seven
A new window opens
Smells of breakfast wafted
And slowly the silence lifted
Its the start of a new day
Keeping her dread at bay
Once again, if she may
Hope for a better day
I don’t know what I’m thinking. I just feel as if everything is going past in a sudden blur of movement. Its as if everyone was charging on ahead, aware of their decisions, making the most of what life has to offer - and then, I looked at myself, and realized that I’m just a passive observer on the sidelines. Miserable ain’t it?
i know what you’re all thinking, and no, I’m not emo (much). Whatever I type out here wouldn’t sound right in the head anyways. Its all merely a jumbled mess of words - perhaps a slight reflection to my state of mind. Now, I told you not to worry didn’t I? Well, seeing as I’m the god damned smartass as some have called me, you really should listen to me.
Shit, okay so now I’m turning into a crackpot. Maybe its better if you all ignore me.
Yeah. I’m leaving in self-denial in addition to wallowing in self-pity. So sue me.
On a more serious note, who am I kidding anyway? I can’t afford a lawyer.
The sudden realization caught me unaware, like a sudden plunge into icy cold water. I could feel the heady rush of blood, the sudden upbeat of the heart in response to what is to come. Was is anticipation, or was it dread?
Honest to be told, it is not an experience I dare to remember. Flashbacks of high end drama, miserable silences, angry mutterings and stress began to impose. Is this really what I want?
I can feel butterflies, no, not butterflies, but bees, buzzing in my stomach. I can feel my feet giving way, falling back on a nearby chair. Tendrils of doubt began to emerge, weaving its way into past locked insecurities.
“Shut up! Shut up!” I heard myself silently scream.
I can feel my clammy hands. I remember the sudden lost of speech. I caught the look. The moment peaked. Its now or never.
“Um.. hi..”
Oh gawd. I bet he thinks I’m a moron.
He looks. He smiles.
“Sherry… right?”
Relief.
The uncertain future looms. I feel doubt.
Too many interferences. Too many unsolved pasts.
Why won’t you leave me alone?
I’m wondering if this is all but a dream, ending when the clock strikes twelve
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Emo Sherry
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daily, morning, nature, new day