Yeah, i know its been some time since the last post. I know i promised regular updates, but that doesn’t seem to be happening and this time I won’t even bother offering excuses to cover up my laziness.
I keep telling myself that i would at least manage some sort of focus in my life, but I seem so have lost track. I can never understand how you guys keep track of everything anyway. Opportunities keep popping up unexpectedly, often leading the heart astray. maybe it’s just me and that I don’t possess the determination needed to actually stay focused on a particular track. Or perhaps its just the lack of discipline to keep myself from straing from the goal. Whatever it is, I’d wish you’d stop admonishing me about my choices. It is after all my life and if I just happen to go on a separate track from all you perfectly disciplined people, well then, its my decision isn’t it?
Sometimes i wonder if its just a rebellious streak on my part or is it an over-posessive nature on yours. Is it really neccessary to make my choices for me? I would appreciate guidance and perhaps advice, but shouldn’t the ultimate choice be up to me? So what if I’m just a young, ignorant teenager? Like they say, no pain, no gain.
Yet I understand it hurts to watch people you love lose their way. There are just so many people i wished I could protect, yet failed at my task as a mentor. I see them heading the same way towards ruin as I had watched others regret their pasts. And sometimes i wonder, why won’t you listen?
Yes I fully understand the dilemma. But maybe its time, for both you and I, to just let go. Set the bird free, and simply hopes it returns. After all, its not something you can keep caged forever.
I sincerely hope that a certain someone would find her way back. Its difficult when things go wrong and you can’t find support, even from people you had thought would be there for you. But maybe you need to understand that it is not all about you, and that if she feels that she is happy, perhaps you should let her go her way. Negotiate and set boundaries. As you yourself has said, you should never abandon family. Don’t make the same mistake she did because think of it this way, if you isolate yourself from her, how are you gonna change her mind? And don’t bother asking me to mind my own business. I know better than to bug you now. But do know that if you need to talk, I’m always here for you and that no matter what happens, you’ll always have people to fall back on.
I have met and known awesome people in 2008. You know who you are. That is one choice I will never regret.
Its hard to leave. Its fortunate that I’ve never been afraid of the future. And yes, I’ll probably be laughing my way to the plane. Don’t take it in a bad way.
Ps. Someone was pwned last night. Glad I was there to enjoy the scene. If you ever read this… HAHAHA!!! EPIC FAIL!! :P